If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
