You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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