your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
