I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
