Me. At least after what I've been through.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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