This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I puked a lego.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
