Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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