Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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