lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize