i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize