I accidentally burped into my bong.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
