I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
