I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
