I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize