Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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