I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
