I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
