yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
