my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
