# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
