Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize