Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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