It's Friday. Sex?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
