Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
