So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
