my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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