On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
