I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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