I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
