I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
