Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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