What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
