If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
