So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
