The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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