i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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