my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
