I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
