I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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