I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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