He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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