i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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