So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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