Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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