I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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