Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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