It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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