One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
