It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
