the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
