After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
