God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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