so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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