Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
