For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So many bounce houses so little time
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
