Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
