Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
