Cold hands, warm shart.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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