Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
